Mindfully Integrative Show

BONUS EPISODE Mindfully M3 MISTRESSES OF THE MENOPAUSAL MIND with Jessica

December 31, 2021 Dr. Damaris Grossmann APRN FNP-C Season 1
Mindfully Integrative Show
BONUS EPISODE Mindfully M3 MISTRESSES OF THE MENOPAUSAL MIND with Jessica
Show Notes Transcript

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Mistress of The Menopausal Mind

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MISTRESSES OF THE MENOPAUSAL MIND

JAN-MAY 2022

An irreverent five-month mastermind and inclusive community led by a team of expert speakers from the health and wellness field. Designed for women, femmes, nonbinary, intersex, and trans folx looking to explore hormonal changes through the lens of curiosity, joy, humor, and solidarity. 

TRANSITIONING FROM BEING A BLEEDER TO A HEATER SUCKS...

But you don't need to go through it alone!

This is a group coaching program and inclusive community designed for anyone who has stopped or is starting to stop bleeding whether it be due to biological, surgical, or chemical means.

 

Led by a team of expert speakers from the health and wellness fields, this is a space to work through concerns and challenges with the guidance of a supportive community. Monthly speakers will cover topics such as healing modalities, medications, human design, and menopausal money matters, whilst a dedicated community space and live workshops provide space for Q&As and sharing.

🌟 You are on the journey of menopause. 

🌟 You have stopped bleeding due to surgical, biological, or chemical means.

🌟 You’ve had a hysterectomy, you are taking hormone suppressing medication, etc.

 

🌟 You are experiencing perimenopause,  through post Menopause or that time after menstruation stops.

🌈 Note that there are no age or gender barriers here: some people start experiencing perimenopause in their mid 30s others go through chemical or surgical hormonal changes even earlier. We also gladly welcome non-binary and trans members! 





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Damaris Grossmann:

Hey, how are you? This is Aqua generis Matt Grossman. And this is monthly integrative show. And this is awesome. Today's Jessica jolly, she is hanging out. We're having a wellness webinar. And we're here to really talk about her and what she is doing for the new year 2022 And her offerings. So take it away, Jessica, and let us know what is coming up for these next few months that we need our listeners and those watching to get involved. Well, I am really happy that you invited me to talk about this because I am super, super excited. So I had this idea and it was festering for some time. And then I was like, I'm just gonna do it. I curse a lot. I hope that's okay. So

Jessica Badonsky:

you got to be you. Yeah, yeah. So, um, and the idea was to create a mask. I had been in a mastermind and I wanted to create a mastermind around the change, right and around moving from perimenopause to post menopause, right. Because I don't think that there's a lot of conversation around what happens with our bodies, I think that there's a lot of focus, especially when it comes to people who men straight around pink tax, which is really important. I think that there's a lot of conversation around

Damaris Grossmann:

pregnancy, trying to get pregnant and infertility.

Jessica Badonsky:

And it's kind of like one of those. Those. You know, what just occurred to me, like literally just right now, when I think about because before I became a nurse, and I'm going to tell you what I'm doing, but before I became a nurse, I was a doula. And I was a yoga teacher, and I used to teach prenatal yoga, and everyone would kind of talk about like, like, you know, the birth, the birth of birth, and I was like, you know, the birth is kind of like a wedding. And then the breastfeeding is, this is the marriage part. Right? It's like, that's the part that takes so much more work. And obviously, the parenting. So it's kind of like, we focus so much on menstruation and like, getting pregnant and our fertility, when, you know, depending on how your life goes, you may spend a huge, more even more substantial time of your life without your period. Right at the end of the day, especially when we think of it like that. Yeah, well, it just occurred to me because, you know, I was listening to truth bomb. That's a truth bomb. Yeah, no. Yeah. I mean, I was thinking about it. You know, Andrew Huberman, like Huberman labs, the neuroscience, yes, yes, I am. Trying to get him on my show. I wrote him flew a few months ago. Hopefully one day he said when he has some available time, he will try to be on the show. He is so busy, I'm sure but he's amazing. So I was listening to him and Dr. Sinclair, David Sinclair, and they're talking about anti aging and you know, what is happening with with science and so then when I think about that, and I think God will be even living longer if we choose to in a certain way without our periods anyway, so I decided to create my own mastermind although I call it mistresses of the menopausal mind because it's not a met you don't have to it's not like a master thing this is more of like a like a dungeon kind of take control where some latex mistress situation on what is going on with like dominate your game how many tricks that but there's like but there is a demystified and Mr. Sub you right yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I don't mind like being associated with that. And also it kind of I felt like even though I'm saying mistress of the menopausal mind, it seems more inclusive to right because the beauty of the younger people is that it's giving space for older folks to say like I don't have to be male or female I can be non binary so and so in that sense, like anyone can be a mistress to some alien male no big deal. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. However they identify However, with this particular group, our focus is on our relationship with menstruation and moving you know from from being perimenopausal. Right and going through that process. which can take up to 10 years right and start as early as your mid 30s to postmenopausal right. So once your once your menopause is one day literally one day, right? It happens on that 366 day, right? You need 365 days without a period, and then you're officially menopausal. Like that's menopause. And then those next days you are postmenopausal. So it's like you do all this work up to this one day, and now you're postmenopausal anyway. The idea is to actually redefine and reimagine what this journey is. Right and redefine. Gwyneth Paltrow like I'm not a huge fan of Gwyneth Paltrow. So nobody, like start writing to anybody about her and her goofiness. She did say we need to rebrand and remarket menopause and we do in a certain way, right? You know, there's got to be a balance between like the J Lo's JLo is absolutely moving through the change period.

Damaris Grossmann:

Like she doesn't it's like there's like menopause doesn't even exist in her world.

Jessica Badonsky:

Yeah, but she's definitely going through it like she's definitely moving through it. There's no way she's 50. I mean, I guess there is a way you can keep bleeding and bleeding and bleeding. But that doesn't mean that you're not perimenopausal, it doesn't mean that you're not going through joint pain. You know, brain fog, a change in libido, hot flushes, you know, irregular periods, it does not mean that it does not mean that at all. So, that's what I'm doing. So it's a five month program. And we start actually, in January, we start January going to May, it's five months, five experts. And we're going to start to explore what this change is, like, in money, what this change is like in sex, what this change is, like, when we're just talking about the biology and kind of what hormones are and how that works. And, you know, do you want to supplement do not want to supplement? We're gonna do human design. Yeah,

Damaris Grossmann:

yeah, supplements and then oh, and human design. That sounds just so cool. So you're having it in five months sections? Right for this, that's going to be five months worth for those that are joining in? Starting? starts when? Next month, right? Yeah,

Jessica Badonsky:

yeah, it starts the first Tuesday of January, the first Tuesday of January is our first gathering. So yeah, so each month for then it for the next five months, we meet twice a month. So it, it's going to work this way, where there's the first Tuesday, approximately the first Tuesday of every month, we meet, and we share and that's where the there's going to be some group coaching. Right. So I, I'm a coach, I'm a nurse practitioner, and my focus has been on sex sexuality, and really this concept of erotic power, which is very much based on the work of Audrey Lorde. And her essay uses of the erotic or the erotic. I'm totally see, that's my perimenopausal mind, going like what isn't cool. Like, I literally have the book right here. But anyway, doesn't matter. I digress. I like focus. Um, so I've been doing that kind of coaching for over 10 years. So the idea is that the first Tuesday of every month, we come together as a group, and and we talk about what's going on in our lives, right? What were some of the pain points are where some of the celebrations are of our lives, whatever makes sense, right? So it could be, you know, everyone's fucking COVID around me, or it could be, you know, I found 50 bucks or, you know, we had great sex with myself last night, whatever that is, right? Whatever somebody wants to share, they're going to share it or and ask for feedback. And so that's going to happen first Tuesday of every month, then the third Tuesday approximately So, towards the end of the month. The expert will come in and those meetings that an expert will give a lecture or you know, a teaching on something, and then because the group will know who this person is and what they're offering, like with the human design, they're going to be able to people are going to be able to have their, this is just one example, they're going to have their chart. So they're going to be able to ask really specific questions and be like, I have this big, empty triangle in this area over here. And it says that I'm a splenic projector or what you know, I'm not, I am not a human design expert, right. But the expert will be able to say like, oh, do is this what's going on for you, in this period of your life in this season of your life. So that's how it's gonna work kind of throughout the month. So the next month in February will be an nurse practitioner, women's health nurse practitioner, and we're going to talk about some of the symptoms and we're going to talk about, hey, I have some I have, I really am tired of these hot flashes and the joint pain and I've been thinking about estrogen, or, and it's not that that NP is necessarily going to say, like, let me write you a script, right? Because the beauty of zoom is that everyone can be from all over the world. But what the NP can do, and what I might chime in to do too, is to be like, this is how this is going to go or this is how this is going to go. And here's another option. And here's here's information that you can take to your provider. So that's how it's gonna go and don't want to throw you're going to ask a question.

Damaris Grossmann:

No, that's the first part. And the next part I want to ask is, I'm going to share the flyer that you sent me. Okay, wonderful. Yeah, yeah, I want to share that real quick. So I'm going to put that on my other screen, so that those can see ads. And I'm also going to put it on the YouTube channel so that those can see the link to hold on one moment. Let me share my screen for just a sec. And here we are. Okay. Share. Do you see my

Jessica Badonsky:

screen? Yeah, I see. It's and you see the flyer? Yeah, I see it. So those are, those aren't all of the experts. But I will tell you, there's me. There I am with the glasses because I love to wear different glasses. I have these. These are my newest reading glasses. I'm that in the other corner with in the bottom is Jasmine Smith. She is an expert in human design. At the top is Casey and Casey is a sex educator, who is also a she's just so she's just great. But she also has a business that personally curates sex toys, or sex wellness supplies and devices and books and whatever, you know, you go through this questionnaire and then she'll chit chat with you and figure out what you need. If you know whatever you're wherever you're at in your phase of life. We actually have some projects probably coming up but she's going to be the other expert who you don't see there is um, Amy Collins, she is our she's gonna she's this person who went from Tech. She's also a hypnotherapist does NLP time technique. And something else? I don't know. I don't know.

Damaris Grossmann:

Amazing. And then MQ DL. I was like, oh m squared MQ? Yeah,

Jessica Badonsky:

yeah, yeah. MQ just because it's mistresses of the menopausal mind.

Damaris Grossmann:

Yeah, three M's and love it. Yeah. So and that starts next week, and I'm gonna read the answers here the or do you want to read that to those that are reading here the five month it's your mastermind inclusive community.

Jessica Badonsky:

Yeah, it says mistresses of the menopausal mine January through May 2022. And a reverend five month master mastermind because that's what people know. And in an inclusive community, led by a team of expert speakers from health and wellness field, designed for women femmes non binary, intersex and trans folks looking to explore hormonal changes through the lens of curiosity, joy, humor and solidarity. Awesome. Yeah,

Damaris Grossmann:

I mean, so needed and a good community like you're building a community that needs to talk about this.

Jessica Badonsky:

Yeah. And I think I think it's also not not just for people who are middle aged, right, because you can kind of become you can be put into menopause through surgery. Chemical means biology, I mean, they're just so many different and age, of course, so many different ways. And I also really encourage people who are who kind of feel like this is kind of me and kind of not me who are more perimenopausal because being perimenopausal. You know, should start seeing it weird. You don't even know that's what's happening. Right? And then if somebody were to say to you, oh, I think you're perimenopausal like I mentioned it to one of my friends and she was like, shut up. How dare you say that?

Damaris Grossmann:

How would they know? And or if she took offense to it? Yeah, she

Jessica Badonsky:

took offense to it. Because if you hear menopause,

Damaris Grossmann:

right, you do you kind of get like a little like, ah, yeah,

Jessica Badonsky:

like, what does that mean? Like, like, I'm infertile. I'm the, you know, even if you don't want to make babies, right? What does it mean based on what society says, right? And, you know, and kind of what you're feeling? Because you can still be I was deeply in perimenopause, when I had my last child, like deeply impairing menopause. I was 43. And I had definitely

Damaris Grossmann:

in the transition, probably, maybe a mom lucky if I'll have another one. If I have another child. When I

Jessica Badonsky:

even when I got pregnant, I went to see somebody who is not my provider at that time. And she asked me how I got pregnant. She's like, how did you get pregnant? I was like, I had sex. Like, I had sex. That's, like, that's how I do it.

Damaris Grossmann:

Well, how do you get by when you weigh the macula? IVF by my conception, I

Jessica Badonsky:

think I think that the assumption was because I was already 43. Yeah, yeah. Like, how did that happen? You know, I mean, if that, like if you unpack that, it's like it did, like, how did it happen? Because of my age. How did it happen? Because I shouldn't have a sex drive. Like, like, like, what are the problems? What, what are the issues? So anyway? Yeah, but this this friend was like, a little bit like, like, how could you say that? But if you're over 3536 37 You're gonna notice a change. I noticed a change when I turned 30. I actually have an IG my last I've done three lives on IG this this week. To kind of Yeah, try. Yeah, they try and like prep people and and and tell them it and the last one I did, or two nights ago, when I did one, I did it on perimenopause. Because even for me, like I noticed a huge change in my energy at the age of 30. Like, I was like, why is this like, what's wrong with like, what happened? You know, there was just all of a sudden this switch that happened. And then by the time I was like, late 30s, I would start eating and these random, like, I would eat something and then randomly I'd get dizzy from it. And I specifically remember talking to a doctor that I was working with, and I was on the floor. Like, I was like, I remember everything. Like I was at work. I was on the floor. This happened. I was like, hey, Aziz, like what? Like, why would that happen? And he was like, I don't know. Maybe it's your hormones. Like, maybe you're going through menopause. And I just wanted to kick him in the nuts. I was like, dare you. Dare you gusting man?

Damaris Grossmann:

Yeah, yeah. Like, who? Who are you? Who are you? Right? Yeah, yeah.

Jessica Badonsky:

Yeah. And like, you know, for me, I'm a breeder, right. So like, I was like thinking, Okay, well, like maybe try and have one more kid at the age of 40. Just see if you could just do it, you know, just see if that's a possibility for you. There's just there's a lot kind of tied into youth. Right. And kind of holding on to what? Because we value youth and beauty and smoothness and

Damaris Grossmann:

we do we do and we want to have fine line? Um, no fine lines. And no, yeah, I have like this nice texture and we're always putting makeup to look perfect. You know? Yeah, it's it just gets to the point where you're like, how much do we really need?

Jessica Badonsky:

I was listening to the writer of sex education. Do you know or possibly the Creator? I don't know. She's the writer or the creator of there's a TV show on either Netflix or one of those called sex education. Right and the mother and my kids Wow, that's a funny show. They

Damaris Grossmann:

are artists our cat in it. What's her name?

Jessica Badonsky:

It's the one that with with the woman who used to be on X file.

Damaris Grossmann:

Yes, X Files. That's what I was meant. Yeah, yes. Hilarious.

Jessica Badonsky:

Yes. And she's the mother right? Funny, my kids watch it and they're like, oh my god, it's like living with you. But anyway, anyway, you know, because we talked about Yeah. All the time. Yeah, yeah. And so, so I'm, the writer was talking about to say, you know, 27 year olds now, like get Botox. I was chewing it interview about getting older. There's this whole series of women 18 year

Damaris Grossmann:

olds get Botox. I have to have conversations with an 18 year old about wanting to get fillers and Botox and how ridiculous that is. I was like, Kardashians or whoever. I don't know. Yeah. Well, I guess they're,

Jessica Badonsky:

you know what this is? That's that's really shocking to me. I have an 18 year old and that no. Yeah, I see. So she was saying, you know, when you get the when you start to get filler and botox and all of that, you know, to prevent wrinkling. She's like, how do you even know? Like, you may love your face with your wrinkles? You may love like you don't

Damaris Grossmann:

know I'm not a filler i Oh my god, I'm so anti that stuff. I'll creams are fine. But though none of those. I did

Jessica Badonsky:

get I did get full disclosure, like I probably will have somebody who does beauty stuff to come into the group, right? Because that's important to kind of talk to people, but I didn't want to people want to I had Botox here to start with the grinding of the teeth. I love you didn't medically Yeah, but I loved it. And then I was like, you know, do it here too, because I didn't I don't like this. Yeah, I didn't want to look like a sad clown. I think about like doing here. Yeah, I mean, right now you can't really

Damaris Grossmann:

see it. So in your five months, you're gonna be having like these different parts. That's awesome. That's

Jessica Badonsky:

yeah, well, but like, so. So as this progresses, as it progresses, after these five months, my dream, my hope, what I'm put out into the universe, which I am going to manifest like this. What I want is that we continue on, so that the next five months, which so the next cohort would start in July, that would have new speakers, unless unless the group said no, no, no, we really want this other person to come that we would have a new group of speakers. So where where the medical person this time is really focused in on women's health, right? And listening to those hormones. I want to have integrative health, right? Somebody who's like we look at more, more of more than just like, the hormones, right? So integrative health, I want to have maybe somebody who does beauty stuff, I definitely want to have a movement person. I want to have a pelvic floor PT. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then and I want to do like, and then the third iteration, I want to have an acupuncturist. And I want to have, you know, and I want to keep going and keep going and keep going. So that my ultimate dream is that like, after the six cohort, that the mistress is who might have started at the beginning, or one of the mistresses, who says, like, I really love this, and I want to do this, I want to lead this, but they lead it that they take over,

Damaris Grossmann:

they take to the next level, they take it to the next level that they take, they take on the and then you have a community of Mr. Says, trying to make the conversation of menopause or wherever menopause is come or this women, you know, menopause or menopause. Yeah. And community or part of a community. Right?

Jessica Badonsky:

Yeah. So that, that people, these people all become these experts, who not only can navigate and have an understanding of how their bodies and their nervous system and this massive change and kind of you know, how they're actually leaders, right, and they can assure and other leaders and keep and keep growing, and this night, and

Damaris Grossmann:

that's how it is. I mean, you're starting think of it as this new year, you're starting a new you're starting January to build this community. And in a way it's like an unknown but in a way you're trying to build these Mr. says that, that need to be spoken that need to have a voice and it's going to grow, it will grow. I mean, just as I tell you when I with my podcasts, right, I was like I had this vision at one time and it was like, I think I need to do this or and when I was with my work, like anytime you have that vision that comes out like I mean, I don't know how about you how you feel about manifesting and like the vision boards. I'm writing my vision board right now and I'm trying to make one for my 2022 So, I'm already talking to people about get your vision board ready, because I'm gonna I'm gonna have my podcast that was a couple of like, vision board put this out there. Yeah, it's gonna manifest it's gonna

Jessica Badonsky:

Yeah, yeah, I just and I feel like, you know, I know you have a young child and my dream is that like when your young child becomes an adult, right? Regardless of his age, he's a him a brave man. Yeah, right.

Damaris Grossmann:

He's a boy, baby girl who knows? I mean, yeah, it wasn't Yeah,

Jessica Badonsky:

you don't know. But, but, you know, where we kind of praise, you know, male bodied people who can go to the supermarket and pick up sanitary napkins, you know, like, you know, will kind of usher in this kind of these human beings who are like, okay, with people being non binary, they're okay with gender expression being, you know, kind of on this spectrum, and, and masculinity and femininity, and, you know, just kind of mixing it up and, and not being hard and having grace with themselves. As they see. They're the people around them going through this great change, because male bodied people go through change as well and your pause, right. But ours is, is just much, it's just much more, and we have to buy less products, we have to you know, it's a huge shift that we can, they can hold space for us. And they can have an understanding, so that we can have grace and not feel like we have to constantly keep it together or hide in shame, that we're no longer able to, you know, should we choose or not choose? Like, US are uteruses, you know, that we don't have to pretend that we're 25 When Who the fuck really wanted wants to be 25 anymore? I mean, I guess there are people who do I hated

Damaris Grossmann:

erotic women in their 40s and 50s 60s. That want to be back in their 20s? You know,

Jessica Badonsky:

yeah, but I, I was not a fan. I was not a fan of not

Damaris Grossmann:

living in their present at all. Yeah, I mean, it's a difficult maybe moments, I think that there's a whole other part of this, when you're talking with these women, those that have a lot of regrets, or that haven't been able to live in their present and in their, their moments right now and be mindful where, you know, I, I'm talking about mindful stuff all the time, but to be able to be present with where they are now, because maybe they had a kid too early. Or maybe they were had, like they were singing, you know, they didn't have any help. Or maybe they retired or they didn't, or now they're enjoying it, because I've noticed a lot of you know, they're enjoying their life now. And they're like, I feel even guilty, just as young moms, like as a mom of a young toddler, being guilty of just wanting to go out or having a glass of wine. Oh, yeah. So it's like those, you if there's a lot here that you can, you know, that's going to grow there. Yeah.

Jessica Badonsky:

I think that the point is to not Oh, this is what I know. Like, I know that when we end our sessions, like meaning, we have our meeting on a Tuesday, at the end of that meeting on a Tuesday, you are going to leave with the sense of possible I am going to leave with a sense of what is possible, right? Because it's not it's also it's not like everyone's just sitting around talking about like, what kind of panty liners are the best, right? We are all these full, full, fully realized human beings coming together from different places in the world, with different expertise with different life experience, right? And we're talking and we're sharing, and it's like, oh, you're a writer, and you're a therapist, and you're a coach, and you're a nurse, and you're this and you're a lawyer, and it's all of these things like coming together and all these different perspective saying like, okay, let's all take it to the next level. The what I just want to say really quickly, what happens in the in between times, is that people will have buddies, accountability base, who they're going to get to, you know, we will have we have a private chat group, that's actually not on Facebook. It's an actual like, it's on my website. So there's a private chat group that people can talk and post things and have discussion and check in. But you'll also have a buddy and that buddy, that accountability is somebody that you can be like, you know, I really think that I want to accomplish this thing this anything that you need, you know, any kind of support you need from somebody to say like, Hey, I need you to give me a call tomorrow on Tuesday because I've got a date with this guy. And these people don't know, and my friend doesn't know over there, but I'm going to tell you, my buddy, and I'm going on a date with this guy, and you call, I'm going to send you a message or whatever, you know what I mean? Whatever that is, whatever you need, whatever kind of support you need. Yeah, that'll switch. Yeah, that'll switch to I just I'm super excited about I'm very

Damaris Grossmann:

excited to I don't want to cut you short, because I know that you know, I've know that you have such so much more to offer for the new year, what would you want to leave for those for this? I wouldn't say this is full webinar. But that tidbit right before, you know, for the new year, to tell them and what to expect a little extra.

Jessica Badonsky:

So um, the first thing I want to say is that that this journey, this leaner march towards menopause, and post menopause, I think we can make it really exciting. And I think we can really, like stir some shit up. So I want to say that look, I want to say that that and the community is open for people to join, I'm going to be doing I don't think this will probably be out in public. I'll be doing a pre live class, this Sunday, the second so you can come hang hungover. You know, in your PJs, whatever, it's 1111 Eastern time, in the morning. So you can ask questions before you join. But otherwise, I think that if we all if we come together, we can really shift, shift, shift people's perception of what it's like to go through this huge change and find the joy and find the possibility in it.

Damaris Grossmann:

I mean, it's gonna be, you know, a little gritty, a little messy, but I think it, it's necessary. So it's awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. I mean, I can't wait for those to kind of meet and reach out and just not even reach out just to go and just be a part of it. So we're gonna chat more about this. I'm going to have this on the podcast Today's Thursday, the 30th. I'm going to put it out for tomorrow for the new year. And hopefully people to reach you as soon as possible. And we'll just keep plugging at it. We're gonna keep telling more people about your mistress. Mr. says in the new year. Yeah. Thanks for you know, sharing. Love you. And I appreciate you. You've taken out the time in your day.

Jessica Badonsky:

Thank you so much. It's always good to hear you. Okay. Bye.