Mindfully Integrative Show

Mindful Chat with Evan Herrman Pastor- Whole Person Podcast

November 26, 2021 Season 1
Mindfully Integrative Show
Mindful Chat with Evan Herrman Pastor- Whole Person Podcast
Show Notes Transcript

 
 Evan Herrman is the host of The Whole Person Podcast and is passionate about helping people master PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT FROM A FAITH-BASED PERSPECTIVE.

Evan Herrman is a licensed pastor and successful Real Estate Agent in Tulsa, Oklahoma. After becoming frustrated for years with trying to "master" personal development. Evan quit trying on his own and committed to becoming a "mentee". He started learning from others experiencing success in the areas of life he was passionate about Faith, Family, Finances, Friendship, Fitness, and Fun.

http://thewholepersonpodcast.com/


Evan Herrman, | evan@evanherrman.com | 918-625-7073 

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Damaris Grossmann:

Hi, how are you? This is Dr. Damaris, Maria Grossman. And thank you again for joining in on the mindfully integrative show. And today we have an amazing mindful chat with Evan Herman. He is pastor, he is a personal development coach, he is a father. And he is also a co host of this really amazing podcast called the whole person, podcast. And he has a lot to offer in the health field and a holistic field, talking about how he has changed and transformed his life. So thank you so much for joining us on the show, Evan,

Unknown:

thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

Damaris Grossmann:

Oh, of course, I like already, we were chatting before and you know, talking. And I think that you have such a wealth of knowledge and so much to offer to the audience and those that are watching. So I usually kind of start out and ask people, you know, what's a little fun fact? Things that maybe someone doesn't know about you?

Unknown:

Yeah, so I have a superpower. Okay,

Damaris Grossmann:

what's your superpower?

Unknown:

I have two. Okay. And my two superpowers are this one, I have really good peripheral vision. Like even though I'm kind of blind, my reaction to peripheral vision is really good. So if something falls, I can typically catch it without seeing it. So that's the power of spider man. Right? It really is. I can't tell you how many stuff I've saved from falling in the toilet. Oh, no. Shell. And then the second thing is, I have a unique ability to get in front of or meet very difficult people to meet. Whether that's through the podcast, or in life, I just have this innate ability to meet well known hard people to reach. That's awesome.

Damaris Grossmann:

Yeah, that's a pretty difficult, let me tell you, someone that's trying to, you know, meet some of my mentors and things that people in life I, you know, I just kind of put the faith out there and hope that you know, one day it'll it'll come out so I you know, I put it out there into the world, you must be doing that on a daily.

Unknown:

Yeah, I, what's funny, I showed up to I'm not gonna say his name. But I showed up to a guy's office once it's four hours away from where I live, okay. And you can just walk in and go to his office, like it's secure. It's up in a building. And I posed as a delivery person to deliver a piece of mail to get up in his office, got past security, and handed the receptionist a personal invitation to be on the podcast, they still haven't responded, that's okay. I'm gonna drop his name, but I will get him. I have. I've been harassing this individual for a very long time. And I'm not going to stop.

Damaris Grossmann:

But now that's I mean, hey, I You never know, I just keep like I said, keep putting it out into the world. And it's gonna happen. I, I like, just starting this podcast for myself. It was like, No, I really need to make something and have a voice out about, you know, more conversations about, you know, the, a more a different mindset and your mindset to and your podcasts is the whole person mindset. And I think that, I'd love for you to talk further about that. Because I know that you're a very, your father, a father of three, three, and one on the way. And one on the way. Congratulations, I have a little one myself. So we have

Unknown:

your babies. I felt those two Angel.

Damaris Grossmann:

Oh, my gosh, oh, that's a lot. It was. So why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself and your story. And you know, and how you came about your to your mindset podcast, your whole person mindset?

Unknown:

Absolutely. So again, my name is Evan Herman. And I've been podcasting as of this recording about two and a half years. And

Damaris Grossmann:

I know it's a long haul of podcasts for a while.

Unknown:

It has been it's been a long journey. And before I started, I want to just I, I wanted to start this eight years ago, I just didn't feel confident in who I was in myself, if I had enough to offer people on a weekly basis. And so I just didn't do it for years. And then I pitched the idea to the Ziggler show of someone who's not arrived doing a podcast, who interviews people who are more arrived and kind of gets coached and mentored through the episode and they loved the idea. And they thought about even producing it, but just realize that to take on another show at that time was just more than what they could do, but they loved the idea. Yeah. And so that told me like, what I was really disappointed that that didn't happen but then to it also told me though that well, if they liked it, maybe I just do this for myself then. And I started this journey of like, Okay, what does it mean to be a whole person? You know, I graduated from Auburn University, and we have a motto The whole person. And it's broken down into three components spirit, mind and body. But I've been thinking about that, you know, I wish I took more recognition of that when I was there and really dove in deep. But since I became more of an adult, I really like, well, what does it mean to be a whole person? Not just in spirit, mind the body, but like, how does that how does that deepen, you know? And so, you know, I broke it down into faith, family, finances, friendship, fitness, and fun, because all those areas matter. And they all affect the other. And so one of the things that I was thinking about through this process is like, Okay, how do we create a lifestyle? That, you know, a lot of people would use the word that is in harmony, or balance, and one of the things that I've learned through this process, and believe it or not, I interviewed Mark Cuban, so only audio that ever failed. And so I never got to publish it. But I didn't. Yeah, I interviewed him for five minutes. And I asked him about how to live a balanced life. And he said, Well, the way he's able to live a balanced life is to live out of balance. And that intrigued me and I said, Well, what do you mean? And he said, You know, when he needs to focus on his business, he'll royally focus on his businesses, because then that will affect his finances and his family and his health in the other areas. Like if I'm, there was a moment a few months ago, where I thought I was having a heart attacks, like, but it turns out, it was just really bad anxiety attacks. My heart rate, my resting heart rate was 140 beats a minute.

Damaris Grossmann:

Yeah, that's a problem. That's when you need to be doing some breathing. Yes.

Unknown:

You know, I went to the hospital, he did echocardiogram. I had a heart monitor, EKG like, hearts fine. But something happened in the anxiety aspect. So for a month, I really just focused on my health. I lived out of balance in my health, like, when I've had surgeries, and I was rehabbing I lived out of balance to rehab, I lived out of balance to, to do the thing, so that now that I've rehabbed my body, I can be playing with my kids, I can, you know, get down on my knees again, and I can do the things that I couldn't do when I was hurt. But if I didn't take care of those and live out of balance in that area, then it would have negatively affect me to where I wouldn't get my range of motion. I wouldn't get those things back. And it would affect everything else in my life. Yeah. So learning how to live, not just in this balance, but learn like we're this give and take. Where do I need to focus on my marriage more right now? Because it might be struggling a little bit do I need to focus on you know, but know that faith, family, finances, friendship, fitness, and fun, are the fundamental areas that make up a life? And if those are not, well, you won't have peace. And that's the goal is to have peace.

Damaris Grossmann:

Yeah, that inner peace can kind of it's like a tricky thing. But you know, it's like a step process. So what how did you come up with? I mean, I definitely wholeheartedly agree with you, in your different elements. Can you talk a little bit further about what made you know, I know you're saying it from school, but can you talk a little bit more in depth about your different parts?

Unknown:

Yeah, so how I came up with them. I wish I could say I originated them, but I didn't.

Damaris Grossmann:

Okay. I mean, that it's not like it's has to be originated, it's just that you've made that part of your life.

Unknown:

It very much is a part of my life. You know, I met a guy by the name of Mike Flynn, not the famous podcaster. But while he was a podcaster, but this not not the famous Mike Flynn podcast, but a friend of mine, who, you know, I heard him talk about that on the podcast. It's like, Whoa, that really resonated with me. And so I reached out to him, he told me about it. You know, there's a guy by the name of clay Clark, the Thrive time podcast, or the Thrive time show, he has it. He's here in Tulsa, you know, and so I've seen them work with it, and it just, it came from multiple places all at once. And it it kind of like, you know, the looney tune when when you hit the wall, and because lawyering like that was that was a moment I had in my life is like, Okay, I need to pay attention to these areas. I've been studying and learning and, you know, one of the first areas that I really hyper focus on was my finances. We were all at student loans, car payments, our mortgage, medical storm shelter, like a lot of debt. But we hyper focused on trying to get out of debt. But what happened was, we had four ER visits that year. I had like three surgeries in 13 months. Wow, my wife had a miscarriage. Like, it was a really rough 2018 financially. And then we had two cars that broke down. And we had no water. And so we were faced with a decision. Okay, well, do we go get more debt? Or do we trust God? So there's faith. And the reason why I say trust God is because, you know, there's specific parts in the Bible or talks about not going into debt. Do I want to believe I can do this without debt? Or do I try to do this and go into debt? When I feel like, I just made the declaration of not going into debt? I drew my line in the sand and then all hell broke loose. So now it's like, Oh, do you really mean that? Or are you just gonna take the easy way out? My wife felt hopeless. You want to debt? Because it was an easy answer.

Damaris Grossmann:

I chose the answer. But it's not the right answer. It's more difficult to put an organ in the air.

Unknown:

And so, you know, I chose No, we're not going into that. And my wife, she, this word, some people hate it. But it's a really good word, she submitted to that idea. And I was like, okay, no debt. And within six months, the two vehicles that broke down, we paid off, we were able to get to newer vehicles, US paid off, we paid in cash, we paid off my student loan, we paid off the storm shelter, and all we have left is just medical, and our house, and I'm not throwing a lot of money at the Medical because it's interest free, and I have a payment that I set up so that it wouldn't really affect us.

Damaris Grossmann:

That's great. So made it you made it work for you. Right.

Unknown:

But here's the thing is, there was that line in the sand moment. And then there was an opportunity not to follow through with it. And so anytime we draw these moments in our lives, where we draw this line in the sand, there's going to be an opportunity that happens, says no, you know what, you don't really mean that. But then you have to show up. And you have to do that in every single area. When those things happen. Sometimes they'll happen in multiple areas at once, and sometimes not.

Damaris Grossmann:

You I mean, that that's like a challenging part of your life to be debt free, like wanting debt free. But you know, it takes work and it took effort. So I feel like you're not only financially secure, I mean, financially sound now, it's a lot of your faith and your spiritual health that's kind of transformed you. Do you have a story or an element in life that you could talk about? Whether it's with your family, or an interview or story that you've helped throughout your time trying to transform and make some differences change? Yeah, impact essay impact?

Unknown:

You know, I think the biggest thing in my life that helped me transform because again, you know, when I started the podcast, I needed a transformation, I needed help. And I don't pretend to have all the answers. There was a gentleman by the name of Craig West off who came on my show. And I was talking to him about this ideal version of myself that I'm trying to become. And there's nothing wrong with having goals or aspirations, and trying to attain a level of success or experience or habits or results. Yeah. But it also was causing me to have anxiety. But because I wasn't who I wanted to be I hated who I was. I'm

Damaris Grossmann:

worried about the destination.

Unknown:

Yeah. And because I couldn't love myself now, I would never love my future self. And so, as we were talking, he said, you know, what you're experiencing is idolatry towards God and self hatred, self hatred, like I just explained, because you don't love who you are now, and idolatry is because you believe in this version of yourself that will never exist, that if you had your way you would have been made differently, other than how God made you. And it became an idol in your life and you're worshiping it instead of trying to be like Jesus. That hit me so hard. And then one I decided like, you know, God, you made me you didn't make the sin, but you did make me my gifts, my talents. So sorry for thinking that I should have been different. And then I said, God, show me how to love myself. You know. The Pharisees asked Jesus trying to Trap him, what's what are the greatest commandments. And Jesus responded to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. But what a lot of people miss is, you can't love your neighbor if you don't love yourself. And so when I really started experiencing personal growth and change, and development, development at warp speed, is when I learned how to love myself through the process of change, you see that future self loved himself, he liked himself, the present self didn't. And I could never be that until I learned how to love myself now. And so when I started learning to love myself, and giving myself grace, then my life changed. And to be very vulnerable. I was addicted to pornography for over 20 years.

Damaris Grossmann:

Thanks. I had someone on the show that was talking about pornography addiction. It's not hard at the harder at any addiction, whether whatever it is, is still addiction. And that will and you've been recovering and doing well now.

Unknown:

Yeah, I've been doing really well. You know, I've been free for over a year and a half, I think now. But when I learned to love myself to the process of change that fell off, I lost 40 pounds. I started mentally emotionally maturing and growing in ways that I had never experienced before. And that really,

Damaris Grossmann:

that must have been like impact. I mean, because for you you've you were able to transition transform, change who you were, and see something like you're getting pastor addictions getting past that and say, I need to change this I need to make and he found your faith, we found, you know, your family. Would you like to share I know you showed me earlier for those watching on the YouTube, your shared screen to those about your and then I'll let them be able to reach you at some point.

Unknown:

Absolutely. So I have 10 Life Changing lessons that I've learned while I've been podcasting. And here on the screen, I have a PDF version of that. And you know, I'll share it with audio as well. Again, the first lesson from the guy is Love yourself like that that royally changed my life. And when that happened, I started seeing growth in every area. And I invited God into that process and having him changed me into His likeness, versus how Evan Herman wanted to be. And that really helped me. One of the second things that really impacted my life came from Dr. Angela Duckworth, who wrote the best selling book grit, you know, having a mission, she talked about having a life mission that points you to where you want to be an act. Then when decisions come in one's life, you make your choices, you make your decisions, based off of whether or not it will get you closer to your goal or your mission statement. And so, when it comes to decision making, you know, now I base my time, my energy, my effort, my resources based off of whether or not this gets me closer to fulfill that mission or not, which has really helped me plan for my days in time. David Allen, he wrote one of the best selling books, how to get things done, and plan for success was one of the third things to have a stress free productivity. You need to sorry, I need to know my desired outcome. First, I then need to create a plan on how to get there by doing what is most important. Learn how and where to park, the interruptions that try to steal my focus and my priority. Dr. Shad Helmstetter. He was an amazing man that this is number four, how to rewire your brain. You can rewire your brain and train yourself to think differently. A lot of habits were programmed into us from a young age, but we have the ability to reprogram our minds to our positive self talk. And positive self talk is like learning a new language. You will learn it best by having it play in the background or just being around it. Jim Stovall, he he was one of the Who's my fifth thing that I've learned, but he from a young age went blind or late 20s. Wow. He is an Olympian. He's wrote over like 50 books, and he's written multiple movies, and his company helps entertainment in industries, be friendly to those that are blind. And so he wrote, like, one lesson I learned from him was to expect greatness, which is, we are only as big as the smallest thing that we allow ourselves to be diverted from. We don't always have the choices and what happens to us, but we will often get what we expect. Learn how to manage your expectations, to produce a better way. And to think and to reach your desired outcome. And so whether we, when the crap hits the fan, are we just going to surrender to that, because like he said, we're only as great as the easiest thing that diverts us off track. Or Benjamin Hardy, he's written a book, multiple books, recent one personalities and permanent, and then also willpower doesn't work. And he's talked about being open to change. And oftentimes, we have this idea about ourselves, that is just, this is just the way I am, I won't change, I won't be able to grow like I was stuck in pornography. And I thought that's just the way I am, I'm not ever going to be able to recover. But he talked about the idea that you can change a bad habit, that you can fix your mindset and that personality isn't permanent. And that we can change our mindset by reshaping our belief systems, in the stories that we believe about ourselves.

Damaris Grossmann:

I think that's profound, profound, very important. It

Unknown:

is Lord Tagore, she is a marriage counselor, and Professor teacher. And one of the things that I learned from her was how to let things go. Many times we have false expectations of our spouse, or other people of how they should be or even of ourselves, because we're looking for them, to make us happy. We have to realize that our expectations of how we treat our spouse or other people how they should act or be so we don't create a false narrative over the person we met, or the people that we're in relationship with, we should not put expectations on other people. So we need to let that go. Dave, do it. Number eight, find your purpose, which is huge. In my life, he when we lost our first child who was a premature, stillborn, he took me under his wing for about six months, and really helped me discover my purpose. And he came onto the podcast. And what he said is, there's a difference between God's general purpose and your specific purpose, God's specific, and general purpose. Sorry, I miss said that God's general purpose is more important than God's specific purpose in your life. And God's general purpose for me as a believer is for me to be a good husband, a good father, a good follower of Christ, someone that will share the Gospel. Like, that's his general purpose for all of us. And that's more important than the specific calling that I have in my life, the, the success, the accolades, and so sometimes we put so much pressure and stress on the high achievement stuff. That's the most basic things that are the most important and that's where we find our true purpose. And then number nine, breathe deeply. Deep breathing is an act of worship. Deep breathing, when you exhale is also the sound of how you say your way. It's an exhalation, which is the name of God. When we often look at a relationship with God based on how we perform when God created us to rest in relationship with Him, we are to breathe deep in and out as name verses worry about how we're performing. And then li kaka how to prioritize life. Knowing your priorities in life and having a system and plan to take care of them example faith, family finances, friendship, fitness and fun. What area is most important to me today, right now and

Damaris Grossmann:

love it I love what I love what you've stated I also the deep breathing and bn you know, with your closer to your faith and your and to yourself. I really I think that's beautiful and I can't wait for them to reach out to you further. I'll have all of your notes and your information in the shownotes and your PDF. You know, I want them to you know, reach out to you directly so that they can you know, contact you. So I'll send your email and connection so that they can contact you via their email. And then you can send out their PDF to them. If they haven't seen it on YouTube. Also,

Unknown:

can I ask you a question? Yeah. So one of the things that I shared earlier is that I had this like, weird few weeks where I was having anxiety attacks. And I didn't know why. Yeah. You know, I went through counseling not not recently, but years in the past for anxiety. But when I come across those moments of, okay, here's an anxiety attack. I'm not sure why it's happening right now. What advice would you give me or someone on how to not just cope with that in the moment, but figure out what the trigger was in the moment? Because obviously, there was a trigger, there was something that that caused it. Mm hmm. What would be because the past few times I've had them I'm like, I don't understand why I'm having them. Like, normally, it's like, I can formulate, oh, this happened. Therefore, the result was anxiety attacks happen.

Damaris Grossmann:

But so some anxiety comes up within the body and energetically or from a pre not necessarily situational, but sometimes it's just coming about from your, your, maybe the day before, maybe even from years before of a situational moment that actually triggered and it could be, you woke up and you had coffee in the morning, and you went to go start, you know, getting your breakfast ready. And, and all of a sudden, there might have been a racing thought of something that you did, that you might have done when you were a kid. And or you might have had breakfast, I don't know, same oatmeal or same same cereal you might have had when you're a kid, and that may have brought on this thought of oh my gosh, something in your past. I'm just saying childhood. So sometimes the it, it's not necessarily that you need a certain moment. So sometimes it's not always that you need a certain moment that will cause you to know, like, you know, but other times, it's more of, there's different, there's different scenarios like for you, is it a lot of the heart rate? Was it from that?

Unknown:

I think you Yeah, I don't know, I have no idea.

Damaris Grossmann:

So it's, it could be sleep related. Sometimes it could be the night, like, you know, there might have been something that came up that yeah, drinking

Unknown:

water. And that happened, I wasn't getting a lot of sleep, when that sleep

Damaris Grossmann:

deprivation can cause a lot. The breath work, like you said, come to your breath, you know, coming back to your breath and being like, and sometimes you don't have a reason why sometimes the body is releasing or, you know, as you're talking about your faith and your love, sometimes your life and your body and your, your energetic self is trying to let go of something. And I tell people, some of that is okay to have that anxiety and get it out. Now it's just a matter of how can you control it? How can you kind of make sure it doesn't control you, you know, so that it becomes something that happens, but it's not something that will be your like to like, tear you down.

Unknown:

Right? That makes this a little

Damaris Grossmann:

bad. Your breath isn't really big, but don't don't look for a situation sometimes it could just mean your body needs rest. And sometimes it could also mean that you know, there was it doesn't always have a trigger, unfortunately, at the times, but yeah, see if you can, but lately have they come on recently or you haven't had any recent right? Oh,

Unknown:

in small manners. I had one yesterday, but I know what that was about I got gypped out of two grand on a real estate transaction.

Damaris Grossmann:

Well that's that's situational. That makes sense the financial kind of situation right? Sometimes it could just be like in a day like if you haven't slept well. You didn't drink like you know enough water your body starts something happened the day before a couple weeks and it has made your body like React. And it hasn't like you're saying when you love yourself the now that might have been a moment where you might have your your mind is racing beyond where it should be and it's not sitting in the present. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, and you just keep coming back to your your, your whole person mindset and keep coming back to those points that give you your strength and I call it my strength within so whenever I'm having anxiety or depression situations I have to come back when revert back to what brought me to be my my whole self again What has helped me along the way, and I have to sometimes it's different parts. Sometimes it's sleep, sometimes it's my faith, sometimes it's drinking more water. Sometimes it's holding my son or being with my husband. Sometimes it's connecting with family, friends, sometimes it's being out in nature. So for me, when I started this podcast, it was trying to meet inspirational people like yourself and other people, so that they can see and guide others that there are different elements that are going to help you through your journey. And sometimes it's one thing and other times it's another, and knowing that there's no one pill that's going to fix this, and no one addiction that's going to stop, it's still going to be in your life, but understanding how to let go of that trigger and figure out where it's coming about. So some people have your, you know, addiction and food, and then whatever the things are. And so it's just it's, it's, it's a process, you know, it's a work in progress every single day. Well, thank you, I appreciate that. No, I thank you for you know, I never usually have too many questions. So I hope I helped a little bit. You did? I really appreciate you being on the show. And do you have one last little mindful way that you can share with us? I mean, you gave us 10. So are you just have one little, you know, faith, something that you'd like to add in? Right before you go?

Unknown:

You know, I would say the biggest thing is learning how to define what you think success is. You know, for me, I've had to redefine what that looks like in my life. It wasn't the money. It wasn't the accolades. It wasn't status. It wasn't the Instagram followers. And now I narrowed it down to what was most important in my life, which is that my children would accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior, and not by force, not by coercion. But that's a legitimate choice on their behalf. Like, that's how I'm going to measure my success. No, thank you. Now, I won't know that probably until long after I'm dead, and then they eventually get to heaven. You know, but there's things that I can do now to instill that in them. And then the other thing too, is learn how to live in peace. Like I think those are the two biggest things for me.

Damaris Grossmann:

I think having inner peace and your faith is so important and and instilling that in your family in it don't come one, you know, one moment at a time and, and having showing them the good morals and faith each and every day will make a difference. Yeah, I thank you so much for having you on the monthly integrative show. You have been a wonderful guest.

Unknown:

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Damaris Grossmann:

I really am so glad. So I'll have all the show notes for everyone to see, and any other extra ways for them to reach out to you. So thank you again, and thank you for joining in on the mindfully integrative show. And make sure each one of you find a mindful way each and every day. Thanks again and have a good rest of your day. Bye and